My Life is Like "The Shining"

So we all know how terrible I am when coping with scary stuff. This is probably a result of watching Unsolved Mysteries and A Haunting almost exclusively during my childhood. One of these episodes stands out for me in particular. It was when I was in 6th grade and my mom took my sister and I to Hawaii. We were watching some sort of ghost hunting/haunted house show, and it featured this boy who was followed by ghosts and spirits throughout his entire life. They called him a "beacon". This terrified me because not only did I truly believe that ghosts were real, but that you as a human could attract them all to you without even trying. This was some hard-core stuff. (Also, Hawaii has nothing to do with this story.)

For years, this idea still seemed valid to me. Whenever I'd be alone in my Mom's house, even if it was during broad daylight, I would get absolutely terrified of any little noise that I heard. (I should mention that my Dad's house is about 19874392734287 times more creepy than my mom's. Thankfully, I no longer reside at either since I'm a grown up.) I thought that when I moved into my apartment in North Philly, my only worries would be crack addicts or hoodlums trying to break in and kill me. Those are still on the list of things to be scared of, but as it turns out I am almost definitely a "beacon".

When I was growing up, I would always catching things like shadows and flashes of light out of the corner of my eye, or see something zoom really quickly across my field of vision. I just thought it was my eyes playing tricks on me. I didn't know that that wasn't normal until recently. There was also a tendency for things to fall or move on their own accord whenever I was alone in a room. I just told myself it was the wind, or it was on it's way down anyway. The more these things keep happening though, the more that seems unlikely.

Now that I am in my own apartment, and these things continue to happen, only with more regularity, I am forced to contemplate a few options:

1. I am most definitely a beacon for ghosts and lost spirits, and my powers have only intensified since I live alone, and there is no one else around to dilute my attractive powers. I will just have to hope that no demons or evil spirits find me. (As far as I can tell, it's only a matter of time.)
2. I am insane.
3. I am overreacting.
Since I am incredibly sound of mind, I feel that my only option is the first. Eventually I will draw in some evil joojoo and I will become possessed and haunted by some sort of poltergeist, or little girls with dripping long hair in old nightgowns will start crab walking across my ceilings.

Let me give you some examples of how I am being haunted to prove to you how un-crazy I am.

1. I was making tea the other day and the wire to the kettle kept wiggling back and forth even though I was not touching it and I had NOT touched it for about 5 minutes, meaning that my moving it had not influenced it's little demonic dance.
2. My closet door had a tendency to open every once in a while, even though there is no way that it could be the wind, nor is the door frame installed on an angle. (I checked.)
3. Every time I sit in my recliner, I see this shadow in my left peripheral vision that I can never focus on. And I have tried sitting in this chair with different lighting and positioning, and it is always the same!

I have yet to be attacked by my own dishes, or to be eaten by my bed and then exploded into a waterfall of blood, but I'm telling you it's only a matter of time

time...


time...









tiiiimeeee........

BOO!