According to popular belief, the human race will cease to exist come the end of this year. Apparently, thousands of years ago, Mayans created a very accurate calendar that ended in the year of 2012. However, what people don't understand is that this information has been interpreted incorrectly. The calendar is cyclical. The world does not end in 2012, the calendar just starts from the beginning. So all you dumbass people who think that Jesus is just going to fly out of the sky on December 21st and be like, "Ok, you, you, you, and I think you. Come with me. The rest of you burn in hell. LOL BYE!" you'd better get your shit together, because we ain't goin no where.
So in preparing for the new year, I have decided to make a few resolutions. And after 10+ years of resolution making, I've discovered a few things to help trick myself into sticking with them.
NUMBER 1
Keep it short. About 5 should do the trick.
NUMBER 2
Make sure they are all worth accomplishing, and reasonably accomplishable.
NUMBER 3
Some should be exact, some should be broad, and all should be POSITIVE YEAH!
This is what my list looks like:
1. Get a job
2. Make some friends
3. Audition for a movie
4. Figure out what I'm going to do with my life
5. Become a badass
Now the first two are specific, as well as pathetic. But they are concrete things that I can either achieve or cannot by the end of the year. There are no loopholes or fancy exceptions. Either I will end the year as a popular and successful human being, or I will continue to be a loser.
The third is a whim. I've always wanted to be in a movie, even if it's just an independent crappy film. So I've signed up for a few talent search websites and have decided that I am going to pick a movie or a photo shoot to model for, and audition.
The last two are pretty nebulous, which is important. This way, I can pick different things throughout the year and attribute them to these goals and feel good about myself. Your resolutions shouldn't all be self critical; sometimes you need to set yourself up to win. Not only will this make you feel better about yourself, but it will also spur you to continue to improve yourself.
Just to clarify a little, when I say "become a badass", that means I want to pick something to become really really good at. I find that I'm decent at most things that I try, and that's awesome, but I would love to find something that I'm really good at and that I love and to master it and TOTALLY OWN. Preferably, I'd like this to be a badass thing, like shooting guns, or fencing, or pearl diving, or riding a motorcycle, or becoming a blacksmith.
You see what I mean about resolutions? You have to get yourself on track, but you have to give yourself a win, too. My list accomplishes both, and it is a pretty good list. A bad list looks like this:
1. Don't eat too much
2. Go to the gym everyday
3. Wake up earlier
4. Don't be such a loser
5. Take out the trash when it gets full
6. Read a book a week
7. Make dean's list
8. Make friends with everyone in your building
9. You're fat
10. No one likes you
There are too many things on that list and together, they are almost impossible to achieve. Not to mention, you're making yourself feel like shit, chill out.
A bad list can also look like this:
1. Love yourself more
2. World peace
3. Adopt babies from Russia with birth defects
Also, this:
1. Take out the trash
2. Do the dishes
3. Get a glass of water
4. Change the shower curtain
You have to make sure that you can accomplish the things you set out for yourself, while at the same time, making sure that they are worth accomplishing.
I hope that you can take some advice from this, and that you make an effort to make the most of this year, since we're not all going to burn up in a ball of hellfire this December.
Happy New Year!
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